Hypothetical dinner

or "If music were food"


Husband:  What are we having for dinner tonight?


Wife:  Steak!  It's ready now.


Husband:  Umm...This isn't steak.  It's a pork chop.


Wife:  That's what I thought too, but it was labeled steak at the grocery store.  I thought it looked like a pork chop, but I asked the butcher and he told me it was definitely steak. 


Husband:  That doesn't make sense.  My family shopped at that grocery store when I was a kid and we definitely got steak there.


Wife:  I asked him that too and he questioned why we wanted to eat the same steak as our parent's generation.  He said steak needs to evolve and accused me of clinging to the past.


Husband:  That's crazy!  I mean, couldn't it evolve by using a different sauce or different seasoning, but still be steak at the core?  This is clearly a pork chop.  That's not evolving.  That's using a totally different kind of meat.


Moments later


Husband:  I don't mean to be rude, but not only is this steak actually a pork chop,  it doesn't even taste good.  It's completely bland with no flavor complexity at all.  I mean, I like a good pork chop from time to time, but this is bad for a pork chop and it's even worse that people are labeling it steak.


Wife:  I know.  I feel the same.  I don't understand.  Since we got that new cable package I watch The Steak Channel all the time and almost every chef on there uses this recipe.  It's a little hard to follow sometimes since almost all the chefs look the same and most are male, but they all insist this is the best kind of steak.


Husband:  That doesn't make any sense!  How do professional chefs think this is a good steak?  Doesn't anyone on that channel know what a steak is?


Wife:  Well there is one guy who cooks what actually looks like a steak, but he's a rough looking character.  I heard he was a sous chef for almost 15 years before they gave him his own show.  He's won a lot of awards for his steaks and everyone seems to like him, but they still haven't hired any more chefs that cook a steak like him for some reason.  One night I couldn't sleep so I watched some reruns.  There were a couple chefs named Jamey and Kasey that cooked some good looking steak, but I think their shows got cancelled because I never see them on anymore.


Husband:  So you're telling me that almost no one on The Steak Channel actually makes steak and all of them make the same bland pork chop recipe we are having tonight?


Wife:  Well not quite all of them.  There are a couple of chefs named Thomas and Sam who more or less use this recipe, but they like to let the "steak" sit out in the sun for 3 days before cooking it.


Husband:  That's it.  We're cancelling our cable and ordering some steak from Oklahoma.  I've heard of this guy named Evan who makes a killer steak.